I often find myself quick to speak in conversations, and quite commonly from a place of judgment as if I know all the answers. I regularly share with my clients that I have lots of opinions and am happy to share them anytime they ask. Whether they accept them or not is another story. Either way, that’s very different than jumping to conclusions and sharing opinions with people when they aren’t solicited!
As I reflect on this, I’m realizing that while having strong convictions and well-articulated beliefs may at times make me seem smart, it often puts me at a disadvantage because it impairs my ability to listen. Listening is a critical aspect of communications, so that actually means it inhibits my ability to communicate effectively.
More than that, it does a disservice to those I’m in conversation with because it closes the door on what they may be sharing prior to my even hearing what they might say. Did you ever see the movie “White Men Can’t Jump” with Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson? If so, you get my point. I may be listening, but I’m definitely not hearing!
So my new commitment is to listen from possibility rather than from judgment. Listening from a place of inquiry around what’s possible rather than a place of decision for what I may think already is will enable me to better understand what my clients, colleagues, friends, and family are all saying. By exploring what’s possible, I will be able to envision numerous scenarios for what is being communicated and therefore consider various options for responding. Regardless of what comes from that, I trust it will be a more effective outcome than my always assuming I have all the right answers and know exactly what is going on. I’m guessing my 11-year-old daughter Amanda will appreciate this since I tend to jump to conclusions with her quite often. I’m guessing my clients will appreciate this too since they expect me to design and implement the best solutions possible, not just the ones that immediately come to mind when I assume I know exactly what they need and what I’m doing.
