According to dictionary.com, “composure” means: serene, self-controlled state of mind; calmness; tranquility. My less formal – although quite likely more actionable – working definition of composure is “maintaining balance and keeping grounded when the s*@# hits the fan.”
A friend of mine recently shared how impressed he was with my ability to stay grounded and composed even in the face of the greatest of adversity which seems to pop up from time to time. His more complete thought actually was, “Jeremy if there’s ever a terrorist attack, I want you to be there by my side!” While that’s flattering to hear, I guess I just don’t know how else to be. Maybe it’s the generally blessed life I live in Malibu, California that calms my soul. Maybe it’s the life lesson I learned from my mother years and years ago never to tick off people who can help you if they choose to. That was originally intended as advice from the travel agent to her son for when you’re standing in front of a gate agent in an airport terminal having just found out that your flight was cancelled or otherwise delayed. I’ve found it to be quite transferable to most other areas in life!
Regardless of where I picked up my ability to maintain my composure when “stuff” happens, it does seem to serve me. As funny as it may sound to simply remain calm, breathe, and resist the temptation to throw a childish fit, it’s actually a tremendous source of strength and power not to react. By being balanced, I don’t waste energy reacting to life’s circumstances. Beyond that, I actually maintain focus and clarity in a way that allows me to rationally assess my very next steps and then take quick and decisive action to keep on course – which by the way is exactly what you need to do when the stuff hits the fan, not throw that fit or panic.
Stuff happens. Acknowledge and move on. Dwelling in the “what could have been” or even worse “what shouldn’t have happened” or “wasn’t supposed to be” won’t get you anywhere. Sure, that “woe is me moment” will feel good for a little bit. It might even get you a nice pity party with your friends. Once that friendly compassion wears off though, you’ll still be left with that same stuff holding that same fan. And that’s not going to get you out of the mess you’re in!
Everything happens for a reason, so take those otherwise unwanted moments – most recently in my life, they’ve been divorces, business challenges, and children’s injuries – to start fresh and envision a new possible future for yourself and your life. That’s how to keep your cool and keep pushing forward whenever it feels like someone pulled the rug out from beneath you. That’s where you’ll find composure serving as a source of balance and inspiration when you need it most. That’s where you’ll produce breakthrough results you never saw possible before that stuff hit the fan.
